There is no shortage of statistical data which show the failure rates of relationships, especially marriages, in today’s world. I remember, at one time, the divorce rate in America was something like 50%. Now, I’m sure the percentage has reached an uncontrollable level.
Certainly there are number of indicators that a marriage isn’t going to last, at least without immediate intervention such as counseling by a trusted marriage counselor, religious leader, or professional therapist. It becomes necessary to seek a third party, or mediator, to help the two of you to openly discuss the issues you are having in the marriage and help to sort them out patiently, without shouting or outbursts of anger.
Either person in the relationship will realize that things have taken a wrong turn when there is a breakdown in trust, respect, and/or communication. In cases of lagging trust, insecurity builds up and the member who no longer trusts usually begins making assumptions to try to understand the other’s behavior. Assumptions lead to accusations and what follows are seriously hurtful arguments. Before you know it, there are tearful moments of disappointment and hurt. At this point, it’s time to seek help.
In the case of increasing disrespect among once loving partners, something must be done quickly. When men become disrespectful, it is very difficult for them to turn around. It’s natural for a man to defend himself to the fullest, without pause, and if his woman gives him reason, he begins to use disgusting language and behavior which is indelible and leaves permanent scars which cannot be erased. When a woman becomes disrespectful, she begins to indulge in destructive behaviors such as seeking other relationships to use in hurting her partner. The worst thing both parties can do is to tell their relatives or mutual friends about the relationship problems. Friends will only encourage them to end the relationship altogether. If the partners manage to work things out, these same friends will hold a bitter grudge that their advice wasn’t taken and they will no longer want to hear any further complaints about the relationship.
Whenever mistrust and disrespect surface in any relationship, the lack of communication undoubtedly follows. The previous open and informative commentary soon becomes labored and angry statements here and there. Neither person is happy so very little conversation is had. At this point, one person taking the initiative to begin talking about true feelings and maybe offering apologies is a great place to begin. Next, if the two of you can agree to see a counselor, it’s good to refrain from speaking until the counseling session, so that you both have time to gather your thoughts for discussion, as well calm down a little in preparation to little.
If it’s not possible to get an agreement for counseling, then an unfortunate measure must be taken and perhaps the relationship must go on a hiatus, or even worse, an end.
Written by SheDoesIt
